Taking Time to Overcome Letter Phobia

I can measure almost anyone for a bra and tell them technically what bra sizes and styles they should wear to get a text book healthy fit. The reality is that the technical aspect of fitting means nothing if someone is not mentally ready for a new bra size, especially if the thought of a cup letter over a D makes them recoil.

I've written before about Letter Phobia (here and here) and how it's a very real block that keeps women from even trying on a bra in a size that distresses/worries/upsets them.

I have some clients who spent years in bras that made them uncomfortable, unhappy and self conscious but then finally took the courageous step of facing their letter phobia. I say courageous because letter phobia is the result of layers of dialogue that tell us boobs are wrong, big boobs only translate to sex, cup sizes over a D are for exhibitionists, big boobs and intelligence don't co-exist etc. It's brave to take a step out of that quagmire of ignorance that gets heaped on women from commercials, movies, ads, TV, blog comment sections (AKA the Devil's diary, whichever you prefer) and trust that you could find empowerment on the other side.

A recently new client told me this week that she was disgusted the first time she saw our website because we were trying to normalize big boobs and that went against everything she had learned at home, through her social groups and through the media. Over a period of three years she had read my blog posts and started to wonder whether she was being kept in a cycle of shame about her body and breasts without really knowing it. In September she purchased her first bra in a cup letter that would have been unthinkable to her just a year earlier. This week she wanted to let me know that the difference in her health, posture and self-worth has transformed in just 2 short months. So much so that she has made a verbal promise to her daughter that she will always give her physical and emotional access to bras that fit her.

When you work so much by yourself it's hard to know sometimes if you're making a difference so this woman's story meant an awful lot to me. I would love to think that fewer women of future generations will have to wade through the emotional mud before they feel empowered and deserving enough of a well-fitting bra. It's not just about getting the best bra fit, it's about freeing up the mental capacity of a remarkable gender to apply their time to something other than ensuring their bodies conform to an arbitrary social preference.

Getting over letter phobia does not happen over night but it can happen and the results can be so much more than just getting the right bra. Be kind to those women you know who are afraid to try a cup letter over a D and be there with helpful resources when they're ready to face their letter phobia.xx

I'm Busty And I Know It

Today I'm handing you over to one of our guest bloggers who, like thousands of women, has shallow breasts. Fitting shallow breasts is challenging and as Justina explains, the public perception of this 'type of full bust' can be infuriating.

My measurements are 30” under bust and 39” across the fullest part of my bust, and I usually wear a UK 30FF (sometimes 30G or 32F). Because I am somewhat shallow busted I’ve been called a liar when disclosing my bra size. Ladies let me tell you, I’m full busted and I know it. There’s nothing unreal about my measurements, or yours, just because they don’t “fit” what someone else thinks a full bust should look like.

A friend once laughed in my face in the middle of a mall when I told her my bra size; “You’re smaller than I am, and I’m only a C cup,” she said. When I tried to explain she might have been improperly fitted or her band size might be different, she laughed harder. Reactions like this used to really bother me. The general perceptions about big boob sizes and shapes are way off reality and it's important that you don't listen to the general ignorance about your boobs.

The Curse and Blessing of Shallow, Wide Breasts
I have soft, bottom heavy breasts with slight tissue migration. My shape can be a blessing and a curse. On the upside, I can wear a well fitted plunge bra because my tissue doesn't spill into the center when unsupported. On the downside, if I don’t pull all my tissue forward from the sides I spill out under my arms and my fullness vanishes. This anatomical layout has led to some unfortunate fittings because not every fitter understand the needs of a wide, shallow bust.

When I first began to learn about my true bra size I decided to go shopping. A cheerful department store saleswoman greeted me and I told her the size range I wanted. She eyed me dubiously and told me she needed to fit me first. She took me to a fitting room and asked me to take off my shirt. After observing me she smiled and went to grab what she “knew would fit.” With stilled breath I began to put on the bra she brought me. I went to bend over to adjust myself into place, which is a must for me, when she asked what I was doing. When I told her she said, “Don’t do that. Stand up.” I obliged and looked in the mirror at filled cups and the tissue that spilled out under my arms. I told her I needed a bigger cup size and she laughed. I left the store.

"The best thing we can do is educate ourselves about our bodies and our unique breasts."

Trust Your Knowledge
Sadly most fitters know little to nothing about what true fit looks like, couple that with a shallow projection and it’s difficult for me to be fitted correctly. As I educated myself about breast shapes and bra styles I learned to find stores with the size I thought I needed. If the fitter didn’t fit me correctly I had the confidence to ask for the sizes I wanted not just the sizes they thought I needed. Ladies, only you’ll know what feels and looks right for you so trust your knowledge of your boobs.

Over time I have narrowed down that Freya full-coverage, unmolded, 30FF bras work best for me. I also like Fantasie in that style, although I need a 30G. I’ve learned not to be afraid to try different sizes because even within a single brand there can be a lot of variances.

The best thing we can do is educate ourselves about our bodies and our unique breasts. The more knowledge you have about your body, the more you will love you and be able to care for your curves. That’s a lesson I’ve learned.

Justina Luther is a lifetime author with a passion for people. Whether it’s her current work, a suspense titled Would You Have Believed Me? or her personal experience short story titled GED=OMG, which was published in Beginnings XIV, she puts her heart into every word she writes. Justina believes words can change the world. She is currently an author on the exciting new blog When Readers Write. To read more of her work, visit www.whenreaderswrite.com

5 Tips to Make Your Bra Last Longer

Bras for large breasts work extremely hard to keep your breasts in place and secure. The constant strain on the fabric and elastic in your bra gradually stretches the bra over time until it no longer has enough elasticity to support your breasts. All bras wear out eventually but there are things you can do to make your investment in your bras go further. Here are my top 5 tips for longer lasting bra fit:

Buy Bras That Fit
I know this might seem obvious but a bra that doesn't fit you in the band and cup will die faster than one that does. This is because you pull at bras that don't fit you which stretches out the material and if your cups are too small or your band is too big the whole bra is under excess strain that deteriorates it faster. Here's a reminder of the 5 fit checks of a well-fitting bra:

1. All your breast tissue sits inside your cups (even the tissue at your armpit).
2. The band lies parallel with the floor all the way around your body.
3. The gore sits flush with your body and is comfortable.
4. Your straps don't slip and aren't digging into your shoulders.
5. The wing is supportive and comfortable without digging into your armpit or with breast tissue spilling over the top of the wing.

How You Put On Your Bra
Lots of women don't realize that the way they put on their bra is causing it to die faster. If you hook your bra in the front then twist it around your body it puts the band elastic under huge strain. It also means you're unlikely to be wearing your best fit from the outset as you probably can't twist the correct band size around your body. These two things combined could be shaving 3 to 6 months off the life of your bra. Get hold of the two ends in front of you (do them up as a trial run then unhook again and don't move the position of your hands) pass your arms around your body and do up the hooks. Once you've got this bit done you can lean forward and place your breasts into the cups then lift the straps onto your shoulders. This takes some practice but could save you hundreds of dollars.

Washing and Drying
I've written a lot about how to wash and dry your bras to make them last longer. Here is a recap of the main points:

1. Hand washing is best but if you need to machine wash use a cool cycle and a laundry bag.
2. Never put your bras in the tumble dryer. Heat kills elastic.
3. Hang dry your bras from the center gore, don't hang them from the straps because this stretches out the straps and compromises the fit.

Buy Quality Over Quantity
Not all bras are created equal. Lots of the mall lingerie retailers offer buy 2 get 1 free specials on bras up to a DD or DDD. While this might look like a great way to pad out your lingerie draw you need to think about the quality. These deals usually appear on molded cups (a single piece of shaped fabric) where the straps are attached by one or two rows of stitching. These styles tend not to have reinforced wire tracks (the tubes the wires sit in inside your bra) which is why it's so common for the wires to pop out. You really are better investing in two or three bras of good quality (that fit you well) than having lots of cheaper bras of lesser quality. 

Cycling Your Bras
Your body heat, sweat and salts are what erode the elasticity in your bra. You need to let a bra rest for at least 24 hours and preferably 48 before wearing it again and this means you need at least 3 basic bras to cycle through the week.

The salt build up in your bra (from your sweat) needs to be washed out after every three to four wears unless you sweat a lot in which case you need to wash after every one to two wears.

While there's no guarantee as to how long a bra will last (it depends on your lifestyle, breast weight, torso shape and perspiration) by using some or all of these tips you can prolong the life of your bra investment. xx

Why My Daughters Won't Have My Maternity Bra Nightmares

This week's blog is a guest post from one of our customers who found her best bra fit in her 50s and has become a Bra Fit Evangelist. In her guest post she highlights the physical and emotional difference between her maternity bra shopping experience in the 1970s and the choices available to her daughters today.

"When I was pregnant in the 70s I was looking forward to everything that came with pregnancy. Buying things for the baby and maternity clothes for me to proudly show off my ‘bump’ and of course I’d need to get some bras for my larger pregnancy boobs. Getting things for the baby was exciting and fun but shopping for maternity clothes and bras was a wasteland for busty Moms-to-be.

I had always been busty and as a teenager had my fair share of doom and gloom in the fitting room. Bras over a D cup were hard to find in the 1960s but I naively thought that my pregnancy bra choices would be better. Surely there would be bigger cups available for pregnant and nursing Moms.

I was so sad to discover that there was only white or beige in one basic style (if you can call it a style) with almost industrial cups and straps and the cups still didn’t go above a D, they just got bigger in the band. I used to call them my ‘parachutes’ as they felt worthy of army manoeuvres. At only 23 years of age I was wearing bras that an 80 year old would find uninspiring. To accommodate my cup volume I had to wear a 42E and it made me feel huge, ancient and uncomfortable. Knowing what I do now I should have been in a 34GG or even a 32H.

A nursing/maternity bra like Sophie is essential in small bands and large cup volumes for busty women

With an ever changing body and serious breast weight the 42E bras did nothing to support me and so my pregnancies became times that I struggled most with my breasts. Pregnancy is such a special time and there are so many new things happening to you that you need and DESERVE bras that fit you and support you. You don’t want to be distracted by straps digging in and a sore neck when there are so many more amazing things happening like your baby’s first movements.

Happily for my daughters, there is now a wealth of choice in maternity/nursing lingerie. Smaller bands and cups up to a K add over 100 sizes than were available during my pregnancies. The band support is so important so it makes me really happy to know that busty Moms today don’t have to compromise on band support in order to get the cup volume. I wish I’d had beautiful choices because on those days when you are exhausted from sleep deprivation and constant feeding it would make a big difference to your self-esteem to know your boobs are encased in something comfortable and beautiful."

Bra Fit Tips for Top Heavy Breasts

If you've tried on every bra you can think of and always seem to get quadraboob or massive gaping then there's a good chance you've got top heavy breasts. When your breasts are very full on top you need a style that accommodates the upper volume. A style that can't accommodate the shape of your upper breast will cut into your tissue making it look like your cups are too small even if they aren't. In this post I'm going to help you figure out if you have top heavy breasts and what to look for in bras for a great fit.

Left: Full All Round Breasts Middle: Bottom Heavy Breasts Right: Top Heavy Breasts

How to tell if you have top heavy breasts
There are two types of top heavy breasts; one is volume of tissue and the other is density. To tell if you have volume heavy upper breasts you need to start with your nipples. In front of a mirror lean forward (without a bra) so that your back is parallel with the floor. Using the mirror look to see if your nipples are pointing directly down at the floor - this means you have full all round breasts. If your nipples are pointing more towards the front (nearer your chest) then you have bottom heavy breasts. If your nipples are pointing back (towards your tummy) then you have top heavy breasts.

Left: Center Full Top Heavy Breasts Middle: Evenly Full Top Heavy Breasts Right: Side Full Top Heavy Breasts

For comparison this is the difference between Full All Round Breasts (left) Top Heavy Breasts (center) and Bottom Heavy Breasts (right)

You can also assess the distribution of your tissue by stranding straight on in a mirror. You're looking to see if there is more volume above or below your nipple line. If you have top heavy breast volume you will see that your nipples appear to sit lower on your breasts when looking at yourself straight on. You'll also notice whether you have more volume to the outside edges of your breasts (side heavy breasts) even distribution to left and right or more tissue at the middle of your breasts (look for high gores to support the volume at the center of your breasts).

Top heavy breasts can also have soft breast tissue (the two are not mutually exclusive) so even though you might think you have 'saggy' boobs you might actually be full on top and need to look for a shape that can accommodate your upper volume and materials that are friendly to soft breasts. Breast density leads us onto the next kind of top heavy breasts.

The second type of top heavy breasts is to do with tissue density. If you have very dense tissue you find that your breasts create a very round shape at the top when you put on a bra regardless of whether you have bottom heavy, side heavy or even all round breasts. This happens a lot for young women but breast density has a lot to do with genetics so you can find yourself in your 60s with dense upper tissue. Because your breasts fill out upwards you also need top heavy friendly bra shapes and/or materials to stop quadraboob.

What to look for in bras for top heavy breasts
The shape of the upper cup of a bra needs to have the depth to be able to accommodate your upper breast volume. As well as the depth it needs to curve in a way that won't cut into your breasts. Many women have tried on lots of molded bras (seamless cups that are in a fixed shape) and constantly find that they have overspill. This is because the depth and edge of the bra is fixed and if your breasts aren't the same shape as the cup then the excess just spills over.

Envy (left) and Jasmine (right) have a stretch lace upper cup that stretches to shape to your upper breast shape

A top heavy breast's best friend is a flexible edge (like Envy and Jasmine in the picture above). A stretch lace upper panel allows for the bra to fit your shape rather than the other way around. The lower panels of the bra is usually fixed which gives you good support but the upper panel is flexible to give you a smooth profile.

A lot of Cleo styles work well for medium to top heavy breasts because the upper cup is deep and curved to accommodate your upper breast volume

Some brands, and styles, are designed specifically with top heavy breasts in mind. Cleo is particularly good because the cup shapes are deep with a curve that allows for top heavy breasts. This is also the reason that some women find that Cleo bras gape at the top because they have medium or shallow breasts that don't require the volume at the top of the cup.

Cups that have a horizontal (sweetheart cut) rather than a diagonal cut are usually friendlier to top heavy breasts, so some plunge styles tend not to be great for full on top breasts (depending on the material). If the angle of the top edge of the cup cuts across the natural curve of your breasts it causes quadraboob regardless of which size you try.

I hope these tips help you work out if your breasts are top heavy and which features to look for in a bra to get a comfortable and polished look. Let us know in the comments if you have any top heavy tips xx

The Gap Between Thin and Plus Size

I rarely write posts purely about bodies because, as you all know, my focus is boobs no matter which bodies they live on. For a long time though something has been niggling away at the back of my mind then last week 2 things happened that made up my mind about writing this post. As a size US 8/10 (UK 12-14) I have never identified as a skinny person, apart from maybe when I was 9 and my haircut and knees were the biggest parts of me. I developed hips and boobs as a teenager and they've stayed consistently prominent throughout my adult years. Considering I have some major curves going on I've never identified as a Plus Sized person either. I don't need to seek Plus Size retailers to find clothes that fit and I don't encounter many of the physical or emotional situations that I read about from Plus Sized women. So if I'm not skinny or plus sized, what am I in the realms of social discussion? Apparently I, like the millions of other women, don't warrant discussion because I don't fit neatly into either of the two body boxes.

Last week there was a news piece doing the social media rounds about a school girl who started a petition to encourage Disney to create a plus sized princess. I think this is a great idea for more diverse representation from an iconic company, however, this kind of thing happens a lot where the two options seem to be 'thin' or 'plus sized' which bypasses the millions of women who don't identify as either. I don't look at a Disney princess and think "Yeah, I have those kind of proportions" but I also wouldn't see a plus size character and identify any more closely. Very rarely do we see people petitioning for a middle ground and I'm not really sure why.

With her defined tummy, hips and thighs Robyn Lawley is very relatable for lots of middle-sized women but she is almost constantly referred to as Plus Sized because the fashion industry only allows for 2 groups of size.

A topic that has been well discussed is the definition of Plus Size models. Robyn Lawley is a prolific model who at a size US 12 (UK 16) is considered Plus Size by the fashion industry but she's also over 6ft and proportionally akin to a size 10, 5ft 9 woman. I understand that the fashion industry is polarized into thin and plus size but Robyn looks proportionally like lots of us middle-sizers (bar the exquisite eyebrows perhaps!) but we're not allowed to have her as an ambassador because she gets allocated to Plus Sized where we don't identify.

I personally don't need validation from a slew of social media memes to help me define who I am. I am fortunate to feel very proud of my body and the person it houses so it's not for my own identification that I raise this question. However, lots of girls and women don't fall into the category of thin or plus sized and their fit and esteem issues are just as valid. It would be great if we didn't have such polarized 'categories' of bodies but it's naive not to recognize that 'thin' and 'plus size' have very visible representation in social media, retail and traditional media so where do you look if you don't fit neatly into either camp?

Elomi (left) is a predominantly Plus Size brand with most bands starting a 34. Cleo (right) is a predominantly Full Bust brand with most bands starting at a 28. The shaping needs of these two categories can be quite different.

The second occurrence that prompted this post was an article I read about finding good bra fit which said "if you have big boobs then you need a plus size bra and there are lots of brands to choose from, like Elomi". Yes, Elomi is a great plus size specialty brand, one that we are delighted to carry, but not all women with big boobs are plus sized!

When Paul and I created Butterfly Collection the lack of understanding around boob and body size was painfully apparent. The term Full Bust (meaning a 28-38 band size with a D-K+ cup) was almost unheard of when we began speaking to brands and customers alike. People kept trying to lump us in the Plus Sized category because they didn't know what else to do with us. And that's the problem for me. It's just lazy to ignore that body size and shape is far more diverse than just thin or plus size and the fact that a term like full bust is so hard for people to grasp shows the lack of language and understanding around body diversity.

It's because of this stereotypical idea that big boobs live on big bodies that I wanted to raise this subject. If you aren't a plus size woman but you also don't fit into the 'shapes' of Victoria's Secret, strapless tops and thigh gaps then it can be difficult to know where to look for retail help and social empathy and I hope we can change that by changing our language around body shapes.
 

Kat Dennings, Christina Hendricks and Mindy Kaling are all public figures who I can identify with on a physical level and they've all been labeled as plus size at some point by a polarized 'thin' or 'plus size' rhetoric

If you identify as a Plus Sized woman then there are a huge number of blogs, stores, public figures, resources and shows that identify as Plus Size and so are easy to seek out. If you're a size 8, 32G with big hips, no bum and a trim waist then finding people, blogs, stores and advice that empathize is a little trickier. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Does it matter if there isn't a mass representation and language around middle-sizers? Am I underestimating the representation that already exists? Let me know what you think xx

Bra Fit Tips for Soft Breasts

The density of your breast tissue can make a big difference to your bra fit. Today we're focusing on soft breast tissue. You might think all breasts are soft but there is an easy way to distinguish between firm and soft breast tissue.

Firm breasts have a defined shape and need a bra that is as close to their shape as possible to get good fit (the most common problem is finding a cup size that fits but the style cuts into your boobs making it look like you're spilling out). Soft breasts are very fluid and tend to pour into a cup. They can flow sideways, vertically down, over your center gore and they can struggle to fill the top part of a bra. Soft breast tissue also jiggles a lot more and can slide around inside your cup if the fit isn't spot on. You can also find that soft breast tissue wrinkles as there isn't as much fatty tissue in the upper layers of skin.

There are lots of reasons why breast are, or become, soft. Genetics is a big player here, breastfeeding, weight gain or loss and simply getting older are some of the major factors. Soft breasts have less firm fat and collagen in them than firmer breasts. If you think about breast fat and collagen as internal scaffolding then it makes sense that dense, firm breasts can retain a lot of lift and shape even without a bra. Soft breasts, on the other hand, need more support because they can't lift themselves up. Here are some bra fit tips for soft breasts:

The medium height gore and cup shape of Eva have been a huge success for heavy, soft breasts in bands 34+

Fit Tip #1
Look for bras with a medium to tall gore that will keep your breasts separate from one another.

Dessous has been a popular choice for our clients with soft breasts as the seams are soft and the sides are tall

Fit Tip #2
Bras with tall sides (the piece of fabric coming down from the strap) are good for side heavy soft breasts. However, avoid bras with an inside side sling because they can cause a ridge in your breast tissue. If you love the bra you can always cut out the inner sling which is bisecting your boob.

A structure lower cup and stretchy upper cup like Envy by Panache can work really well

Fit Tip #3
Stretchy fabrics can be your friend (especially in an upper cup where you might struggle to fill) but you also want a bra with some structure to minimize the bounce. 3 or 4 part cups with a firm lower cup and stretchy upper cup can work really well.

A molded cup like Wacoal's Basic Beauty can be useful for breasts that dent easily

Fit Tip #4
Some women find that any seams create ridges in their breasts and so need molded cups. Be aware that you might get some hollow space at the top of the cups (especially near the strap) but this isn't terrible for fit.

While there is very little you can do to change your breast tissue density (outside of surgery), remember that breast tissue skin is like any other part of your skin, it benefits from good moisturizing and sun protection. So get the girls lathered up with some SPF and lotion!

As with all things boob, no one solution fits all so if you have questions about soft breast tissue fit then ask them in the comments below and we'll answer as best we can xx

How To Do A Bra Audit

Lots of women have a collection of bras in all sorts of different shapes and sizes by lots of different brands. You may buy different sizes and styles in a hope that you'll find something that fits and before you know it you have a pile of half worn bras and still nothing that fits right.

I do bra audit sessions for some of my clients to help them sort through which of their bras fit them, and more importantly, why they fit them. I go through a series of fit points for each bra and assess the fit of each brand and style to narrow down which styles and brands work best for each client.

I've put together a simple version of this checklist so you can do your own bra audit and narrow down which sizes, styles and brands work best for you.

Step 1
Put your bras into 5 piles (1 = terrible, 2 = irritating, 3 = manageable, 4 = good, 5 = excellent. Immediately place lightly or unworn 1s and 2s into a bag for donation. You can hold on to your 3s for the time being until you have better bras to replace them.

Step 2
Take the good and excellent piles and write down which size and brand are the most common. For example, most of your bras are 32DDDs (also known as a 32F) and the majority of these bras are from Wacoal. If you don't have anything in the Good or Excellent piles then it's definitely time to start from the beginning and get a Free Bra Size Consultation.

Step 3
Try on your best fitting bras and make a note of how the band and cups fit.

Band Too Big Raise your arms straight into the air; if the band moves up your body then you need a smaller band size (bear in mind that old bras have loose bands and stretched out cups so they're not a reliable gauge of fit).

• If the cups fit you on this bra then you'll need to go up one cup letter on a bra that is one band size smaller to keep the same cup volume. (e.g. a 34F becomes a 32FF)
• If the cups feel small then go up two cup letters on a band size smaller to increase your volume by one cup. (e.g. a 34F becomes a 32G)
• If the cups feel too big choose the same cup letter on a band size smaller as this will be one cup volume smaller. (e.g. a 34F becomes a 32F)

Band Fits If your band stays in place then stick with that band size.

• If the cups fit you on this bra then stick with this size, it's working for you.
• If the cups feel small then go up one cup letter on the same band size to increase your volume by one cup. (e.g. 34F becomes a 34FF)
• If the cups feel too big choose the same band size with one cup letter smaller. (e.g. a 34F becomes a 34E)

Band Too Tight If the band feels too tight consider going up one cup size.

• If the cups fit you on this bra then you'll need to go down one cup letter on a bra that is one band size bigger to keep the same cup volume. (e.g. a 34F becomes a 36E)
• If the cups feel small then keep the same cup letter on a band one size larger as this will be one cup volume larger too (e.g. a 34F becomes a 36F)
• If the cups feel too big then you'll need to go down two cup letters on a band size larger as this will be one cup volume smaller. (e.g. a 34F becomes a 36D)

If your cups and/or band feels totally wrong for you it's a good idea to start again from scratch with a Free Bra Size Consultation.

Step 4
Look for similarities in cup material and cup construction (e.g. lace, cotton, stretch material, foam, 3-part bras, 4-part bras, molded cups in a plunge style, half cups, tear drop cup shape). Write down the most common similarities in your best fitting bras.

Step 5
You should now have a short list of size, style, shape, material and brand from which you can start building your bra drawer so that everything fits you. Your Bra Audit is complete xx

Don't Tell Me I Should Hate my Breasts!

Last week there was an article in The Hufffington Post (originally posted on Literally, Darling) that really irritated me. The two authors were bemoaning the problems and effects of growing and having larger breasts. This is a subject that is very real and many women with large breasts will feel some empathy with what the writers have to say. What bugs me is that the article (and many others like it) assume that ALL large breasted women are unhappy, in pain and lack confidence. What a load of rubbish! Besides being a happy, large busted woman I also know many women who are very happy and comfortable in their large breasts. The article in the Huffington Post implied that women like me are almost deluded because happiness, confidence and comfort simply don't apply to busty women.

There are a few stereotypes that get trotted out in articles about large breasts and I think we need to start taking them with a huge pinch of salt because they undermine the goal of stomping out big boob stereotypes. I want to address a few things written in the article:

"They (big boobs) dominate your whole life"
When you understand which sizes and styles of bras are right for your breasts many women can get on with their busy and varied lives without thinking about their breasts. My 32GG bust does not weigh on my mind when I'm working out in my Enell sports bra, they don't bug me when I'm out for dinner in my Idina plunge, and they behave themselves all day in my array of full coverage and balconette bras. They don't dominate my life because I have learned how to support and dress them in a way that makes me comfortable and happy.

"...and attempting to get guys to look above our chin when they talked to us."
There is a social assumption that every male is looking at big boobs with lecherous intent. Not only is this not true it also doesn't apply solely to big boobs. Those males who are only capable of looking at a woman's chest will do so whether you've got a little or a lot of boob, the problem lies with the man and not the cup size. This generalization also does a disservice to all the men who respect women, are interested in their thoughts and actions just as much (if not more) than how they look. This point is a whole other post but sufficed to say many people, men and women, are looking us in the face and we shouldn't dismiss them along with the stereotype.

"the giant girls sag from the sheer weight and flip-flop about in pretty much the least sexy way possible. Not a great visual, right?"
So much about this bothers me. Who the hell decides what's sexy? My breasts don't stay up by themselves, they haven't for years, they move about when not supported and not only do I feel sexy in my body I happen to love the natural shape and movement of my breasts so how dare you tell me it's not a great visual!

"Remember that we are just as insecure with ourselves as women who only need a camisole. We carry our own (very heavy) insecurities every day, too. Like everyone else, we learn how to cope with our own body image issues. You either hide behind giant clothing and pretend your breasts aren't the first thing anyone sees, or you learn to break the ice, make the first joke and just acknowledge the elephant(s) in the room. Because if you don't, someone else will."

Aghghghghgghgh!!!! Firstly, not every woman feels daily insecurities about her body and they're not delusional narcissists, they are women who have other priorities, have a self-confidence they can rely on and women who have dispensed with being told to feel insecure.

You absolutely have more options than wearing baggy clothing or self-deprecating humour. Your breasts are not 'elephants' that need to be belittled in order to make other people feel better. You are the sum of many parts and your breasts are only one part and to the people in this world who truly care for you, you will never have to justify or hide this part of you.

I know that for a long time to come we will continue to see articles like this which only serve to keep busty women in a vicious cycle of self-loathing and fear. As you know a huge part of what we do at Butterfly Collection is build knowledge and confidence as well as your bra drawer so please don't feel like you should feel embarrassed or ashamed about your bust simply because you're busty, it's a load of nonsense!! xx

What Are Shallow Breasts?

You may have read the term 'shallow breasts' but be unsure what it means or if you have them. Lots of women with shallow breasts will look like they have smaller breasts than they actually do which can make finding your size quite tricky. Here are some of the features of shallow breasts:

1) Your breast tissue starts high on your chest (at your collarbone in some cases).

2) Even though your breast tissue extends over a long and/or wide area of your chest it isn't very full so doesn't protrude very far forward.

3) You find that you can't fill the horizontal depth of lots of cups but at the same time the top of the cup cuts into you and gives you quadraboob.

If these three things describe your breasts then you probably have shallow breasts. This means that your breast tissue volume is spread out over a larger area but doesn't have a lot of horizontal depth which makes it hard to fill out a lot of bra cup shapes.

Shallow breasts come in the following combinations:
* Evenly spaced shallow breasts with a narrow root (so you need narrow wires with a shallow friendly cup and medium to wide gore)

* Wide spaced shallow breasts with a narrow root (so you need narrow wires with a shallow friendly cup and wide gore) 

* Close set shallow breasts with a narrow root (so you need narrow wires with a shallow friendly cup and narrow gore - you may need to add inches to your band size) 

* Evenly spaced shallow breasts with a wide root (so you need wide wires with a shallow friendly cup and medium to wide gore) 

* Wide spaced shallow breasts with a wide root (so you need wide wires with a shallow friendly cup and wide gore)

* Close set shallow breasts with a wide root (so you need wide wires with a shallow friendly cup and narrow gore)

This gallery of shallow breasts from Venusian Glow is really useful for illustrating what shallow breasts look like. (Warning: Some images are not safe for work).

Style Features for Shallow Breasts
Shallow breasts often need the height of a larger cup without the forward projection and roundness of lots of styles. The cups shape is everything for women with shallow breasts to find their best size and fit.

Shallow breasts require support and fullness at the bottom and a tall cup (so that the edges don't dig into the soft upper breast tissue) that doesn't have a lot of curvature to it. Some teardrop shapes work well with shallow breasts. Lots of women also find that true balconette styles (like Medina) with vertical seams work well because the fullest part of the bust sits in the cup then the upper soft tissue isn't bisected by the cup. Stretch lace is a great friend to shallow breasts because it doesn't bisect the tissue and gives a smooth look.

It's common for women with shallow breasts to have tried multiple different sizes but may have missed trying on cup shapes that work with their breasts. It's worth trying a size you've tried before in a shallow-friendly cup shape.

Shallow Friendly Bras

Lucy works for medium to close-set shallow breasts

Claudette Dessous range is a phenomenal choice for shallow medium to wide root breasts

Idina Plunge has a stretch cup that is great for wide root shallow breasts average to narrow set

Andorra is a stretch lace bra good for wide, shallow breasts

How Torso Shape Affects Bra Fit

Your rib cage shape can make a big difference to your bra fit. Regardless of your dress size the dimensions of your torso can alter which kinds of bras fit you best. Here is a simple guide to some of the variations in rib cage shape and how they affect bra fit.

Straight
This is the most common torso shape and not to be confused with whether your overall figure is straight or curvy. On a straight torso your bra will sit evenly across all the hooks at the back. If you have a straight and narrow torso then look for bras with narrow wires.

If you have a straight and wide torso and your breasts are wide across your body then you probably need bras with wide wires. If you have a wide, straight torso (often referred to as a broad back) and your breasts are close set or narrow then you may need to add inches to your band size and reduce your cup letter.

Flared
When your rib cage is dramatically smaller at the underbust than the overbust measurement it can affect the way your bra sits. Lots of women find bras with fewer hooks at the back (2 rather than 3 or 4) sit better. It's quite possible that you need to go up a band size to accommodate the widening of your rib cage across the wider part of your rib cage. A common alteration for flared rib cages is to bend the wires under the armpit away from the body.

Rounded
Often referred to as barrel chests, this rounding of the ribcage means that you need a lot of band and potentially not a lot of cup so you may need to add inches to your band for comfort. This also works for women with curved spines due to health or posture issues. If you have a narrow and round torso then you will most likely need narrow wires which can accommodate a lot of bust in a small width.

If you have a wide, round torso then you'll need to asses whether your breasts need wide or narrow wires. Again you might need to add inches to the band but this also depends largely on whether you have a squidgy torso. A lot of women with rounded torsos find that they need to bend their wires both around the ribs and away from the sternum so that the wires follow the curvature of their rib cage.

It's important to remember that no one piece of bra information is gospel, so many other factors can affect your fit but this is a general guide to understanding how the shape and contours of your torso can change your bra fit. xx

Bra Fit and Digestive Issues

Digestive image courtesy of DocStoc

Thousands of women suffer from digestive issues. Conditions including food allergies, acid reflux, and irritable bowel syndrome can be exacerbated by your bra fit. As these digestive issues are so common I wanted to explain the causes and the solutions I recommend for my clients.

The Right Band
The band of your bra passes directly around your stomach and upper duodenum (the beginning of your small intestine responsible for breaking down food). The pressure from your band can cause your digestive issue to flare up. It's tempting to think that the only solution is to wear a looser band, but that may not be your only solution.

Profile Perfect is a bandless bra as there is no material below the wire

It's a good idea to wear the loosest band size you can without compromising your fit, but wearing a band that is too loose will cause other issues so don't go too loose. Look for bandless bras; these are bras that don't have an extra strip of fabric below the wires. Minimizing how much fabric goes around your body will reduce the area of pressure on your digestive system. This simple style alteration can make a big difference to some sufferers.

The Right Gore
Your gore puts pressure on your sternum (or breast bone) which in turn can put pressure on your esophagus (the organ through which your food travels to your stomach). To relieve the pressure on your esophagus you can also try a looser band, however, it's also worth experimenting with different gore heights.

A lower gore, like this one on Idina can relieve digestive discomfort for some women

Some women find that wearing a short gore (like plunge styles) relieves the pressure on their esophagus. Other women find that wearing a tall gore spreads the pressure over a larger area and that is more comfortable. It's also possible to bend the wires at your gore away from the body so that the pressure is relieved (this requires a bit of effort but is very effective).

Wirefree Bras
You condition may be such that any wire pressure is going to aggrivate your condition so you need to wear a wire free bra. Wirefree styles can be hard to find in GG+ cups but you can find nursing bras that will give you support without wires. You will have a different shape without the wires but the benefit to your health is worth it.

Medical Attention
If you try different bra styles and sizes and still have unmanageable digestive issues you must seek medical attention.

I hope these tips can help you find a more comfortable fit so that your bra support isn't at the expense of your digestive comfort! xx

Bra Fit: Different Bra Back Shapes

This post arose out of one of my Skype fitting appointments (thank you Ursula!). My client asked what a leotard back means and it struck me that I've never explained this aspect of bras! The way the straps and band meet at the back of your bra can affect your fit. First of all here are a couple of reminders about the anatomy of the back of a bra (image above):

1) The straps attach to the wings. The position and angle at which the straps attach to the wing determines which shape back the bra has.

2) The band is the reinforced elastic along the bottom of the bra wing that culminates in the hook and eye closure which fastens at the back.

3) The wing is normally made of a different material to the cups, usually something very strong like powernet fabric that can withstand movement and multiple wears while giving support.

A Guide to Bra Backs

1) Square Back - the band and wings cut straight across the back and the straps meet the band virtually at a right angle. On this style the straps cut across the deepest and widest part of your back which can give you more visible lines under clothing. The straps are also set farther apart on the band so the style can be tricky for women with narrow or sloping shoulders.

A band that is cut straight across your back where the straps meet the band almost at a right angle is a square back. Photo of Isis Blue from You! Lingerie

2) Leotard Back (also known as a U back) - This is the most common type of back on full bust bras because the deeper wings give more support, plus, the straps are angled to travel over a narrower part of your back and the deep U shape towards the closure reduce visible lines under clothing. The straps do not necessarily sit closer together at the front, the angling is only at the back.

A leotard back is the most common shape on full bust bras as the band lends support and shaping for heavier busts: Example is Lucy Purple

3) V Back - This is an exaggerated version of the leotard back. The straps are more acutely angled towards the closure so that they form a V shape. This is ideal for women with narrow or sloping shoulders. It should be noted though that this bring the straps close together at the front as well which some women like and others don't.

Wacoal's V back is a much loved feature of their Basic Beauty bras

4) Racer Back (also known as T or Y backs) - Racer backs are much more common on A-C cups, however, you do find them on full bust bras, especially sports bras. On regular bras this kind of back is desirable so that straps are hidden under tops with a narrow back or narrow straps. On sports bras there will be an options Racer Clip which allows you to bring the straps together into a T shape for increased stability.

Lots of full bust sports bras have a racer back option for added support (like this one from Panache Sport)

5) Strapless/Multiway/Backless - A strapless bra will usually have a deep horizontal band (similar to the style on the square back). The depth of the band is important to give support. It will have detachable straps that you can use as regular straps or as a halterneck or crisscross back depending on what you're wearing. These strap shapes are known as multiways. A backless bra for full bust women usually relies on a converter strap (like the one by Fashion Forms in the image above) which lowers the visible line of the bra farther down your back.

A strapless bra, like Evie on the left, comes with detachable straps that can be made into a crisscross or halterneck back.

I hope this guide helps you understand which backs you might need or want to get the best fit for you. Let me know in the comments section if you have any questions. xx

Online Bra Consultation: Top 5 Fit Issues

We've been doing online bra consultations for over two years. It is one of our most popular services probably because it's fast, free and it doesn't matter where you live you can find out more about your bra fit. I created this service because it was an easy way to get bra and breast knowledge to lots of women and I believe understanding your own breasts is liberating.

The consultation is a simple form that is filled out with a couple of measurements as well as details about which bra you're currently wearing, your height, dress size and bra issues. From this basic information we put together a profile of the size range that would be best for you as well as styles that would suit your shape best. There are some fit and size issues that come up time and time again.

Lucy is our busiest online consultant and has done almost 1000 online consultations! She compiled a list of the top 5 fit issues she sees most often in the online consultations:

1) Over 80% of women who listed Victoria's Secret as their most comfortable bra cited their band rides up.

2) Most women whose straps are digging in are wearing a band that is too big for them and don't realize that that's the reason their straps dig in.

3) Lots of women feel wires poking in their armpit but it's most common in women under 5ft 4"

4) Over half of the women we do consultations for measure between 24 and 31 inches around their ribcage.

5)  Besides wearing a band that's too big the most common cause of straps slipping off is wearing a cup that is too small.

You might feel like you're alone in your bra frustrations but you'd be amazed how many women are experiencing the same bra frustrations as you. Learning about better bra fit can take a while and it's a lot of information to take in especially if you learn that you need a cup size you've never heard of and a brand not available at your local department store. I wanted the bra size consultations to be an easy introduction to better understand your bra fit. Lots of our clients tell us that it was the beginning of their journey to better bra fit which makes me super happy! xx