Shopping and Happiness for Busty Teens

Last week we looked at the role of family members in supporting their teen girls about bras and breasts. Thank you to everyone who got in touch to say that the piece struck a chord with their own experiences.

Top Five Things Busty Women Wished They'd Known as Teens
I asked our lovely readers on Facebook and Twitter what they wish they'd known about bras when they were growing up. Here are the top 5 things that came up:

1) How to figure out my size
2) That bras don't stop at a D cup
3) The right size bra doesn't hurt
4) Your bra size changes throughout your life
5) Not to be ashamed of being busty

In this conclusion to the Guide for Parents of Busty Daughters I want to share some practical tips about shopping for bras with your daughter and preparing her for a life with big boobs.

First Bra Shopping Trip
Lots of girls won't realize that they need a bra and so it's important that parents are paying attention to the physical changes in their daughters and don't shy away from the subject just because they can't believe they're growing up - ignoring it won't make it any less true.

Buying bras will possibly be part of her life forever so her first bra shopping trip is a rite of passage. Use this significant event to bond over the 'occasion' of your daughter growing up. Make time for the trip, don't throw a Wal-mart training bra in the cart while picking up groceries. Giving your daughter a sense that her breasts are worth taking care of properly (not as an after thought) will set the tone for her bra shopping attitude.

Viva is a great option for school as it's supportive, pretty and discreet

Age Appropriate Bras
Unless your daughter has a very sudden growth spurt it's unlikely that her very first bra will be a D-K cup. However, don't underestimate how quickly your daughter's bust can change. Many teens need 28-30 backs with D+ cups. I know these are harder to find (which is why I set up Butterfly Collection in the first place) but teaching your daughter that finding the right fit is worthwhile is a great gift. Keeping your daughter in great fitting bras through her breast development will also improve her health and self-esteem.

Bras for teens is different from lingerie for women, in my opinion. Buying sexy, fun and exotic underwear is something wonderful for adult women, however, 11, 12, 13 etc is a time you should still be able to be a kid and have the right support so that you can be active and confident. Here are some tips about age appropriate bras.

Lucy from Cleo is a wonderfully supportive bra that is fun and teen appropriate

Colour/Pattern - For school it's important to have something that is supportive and discreet so basic colours like black, skin-toned (this can be tough to find for all skin-tones but things are changing) and white are useful. Being young doesn't mean your underwear can't be fun. Fun is different from sexy. It breaks my heart to see 12 year olds in leopard print plunge bras because you have so much time as an adult to consider your sexual side, but you have so little time to just be a kid. I think Cleo has some great age appropriate bras in bright colours, fun pattern and mostly importantly, good support.

Stretch lace panels like this one on Faye from Freya allows for some size fluctuation as your daughter develops

Shape - When your body is changing you need as much support as you can get. To make your dollar go further look for bras with a quantity of stretch lace in the cup. This will give your daughter some growing room. Three part bras (bras where the cups are made of three pieces of material rather than one) are good for increased support.

A good sports bra, like this one from Enell can keep your daughter participating in sports. A great investment in her health.

Sports - EVERY girl should have a sports bra. I know these can be a little more expensive but you are investing in the longevity of her health and that's worth it. Ensuring that your daughter has the right support to participate in sport is vital for a healthy body, mind and relationship with her breasts.

Preparing Your Daughter for Being a Busty Girl
Whether you were a busty teen or not you probably have memories of kids teasing you. Busty women remember being teased or leered after by boys and being called names and teased by smaller busted girls. Being busty can make you feel like an outsider. Giving your daughter the right bras will eliminate the physical discomfort many busty teens experience but you also need to give her the emotional tools to deal with the other stuff.

I asked my Mum how she prepared for having busty daughters (with her own award-winning bust it was highly likely that my sister or I - or both - would have a larger bust). She said "You can't stop other people being idiots, you can only prepare your daughter to know how to spot one." This is the key. Your daughter needs to know that if other people feel the need to comment on her bust then that's their problem and not hers.

Self-Esteem
This is one of the most important things I write about. If you feel happy, confident and worthy then it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks of your shape. Self-esteem is the bedrock of allowing your daughter to concentrate on being her rather than searching for a manufactured way to fit in. If she's busty the chances are she'll always be busty so the sooner she comes to love her body, the longer she'll be happy.

One of our readers once commented "I am proud to be me because of and despite of my bust." I love this comment because it sums up great self-esteem. You don't have to hide your bust and you don't have to be defined by it. Helping your daughter to love the uniqueness and beauty of her body alongside the fabulousness of her actions, thoughts and talents is the key to balance.

I hope these two blog posts have given you some ideas for making life easier and happier for your busty teens. Boobs are a life-long journey and as with all things, if you get a good start the journey is so much easier. xx

Bad, Bad Fitting Advice

It's been a rough week in the world of good bra fitting. I have wonderful moments every week with women who are ready to embrace being in the right bra. Unfortunately I have also been reminded that many women are simply not ready to be in the right bra and given how much lousy fitting advice is out there, I'm not surprised.

Brand Betrayal
A few of our wonderful Facebook fans got in touch this week to say that they had seen some dreadful fitting advice during commercials for the Olympics. They were so frustrated and wanted to know what they could do about it. The short answer is, tell them their fitting advice doesn't work for you. Consumers have the greatest power and it's only by voicing your opinions that brands will begin to change the variety of sizes they make and information they dole out.

There are some brands who are deeply concerned about correct fit (Claudette, Panache and Alegro are three of my favourites) but the sad reality is that most brands still use, and advocate, the Plus Four Method. One of the biggest culprits is Playtex US. Millions of women buy Playtex bras and if you really do measure as a 36C then these bras are amazing but if you're a 30GG being told you need a 36C so that Playtex can make fewer bra sizes and more sales, that's betrayal.

Playtex UK listened to the calls from bra bloggers to revise their size calculator and bra advice and they took it incredibly seriously, opened a focus group and made a commitment to better fit. Playtex US has completely ignored similar pleas and continues to promote crippling fitting advice like the video above.

While enormous companies like Playtex continue to promote outdated fitting advice there are huge mixed messages out there which are so confusing for women. I know there will never be a perfect consensus on fitting advice and techniques but we have to get rid of adding 4, 5 and 6 inches to the band as a general starting point - adding inches is the exception and not the norm.

Click to Watch

'Expert' Advice
In the past week I have encountered two videos who both claim to have bra fitting advice. The first video has a vivacious and engaging presenter who is obviously passionate about social media and has a huge following. This could have been a great opportunity to give thousands of women the gift of great fitting advice, but unfortunately the video is full of misguided and quite simply wrong information. Lots of women responded to the first video saying "thanks, great advice!" and a couple of lone voices said "I'm not sure this is right, your band should be smaller" and they were shot down (not very nicely) by other readers. This just made me realize that lots of women simply aren't ready to step outside of the 34-40 A-D bra world and while they have videos like this confirming their misguided knowledge, they'll stay there.

Click to Watch

The second video has a rambling section dedicated to comparing your boobs to fruit in order to get a good idea of your bust size. This made my head want to explode! Your boob volume means NOTHING without your band size so the handy apples and oranges guide is just pointless. There was only one response to this video when I saw it and that response was another narrow-minded jab at being busty - not helpful.

I get very disheartened sometimes because flying the flag for great fitting, smaller bands, bigger cups, more styles, shorter and longer straps, hypo-allergenic fabrics etc can make you feel like a lone nutter! But I have to remember that change takes time so I'll be here flying my nutter flag for every woman who searches out a better bra life! xx

A Guide to Bra Bloggers on Facebook

Continuing our series on Lingerie and Facebook, today I'm sharing with you some of my favourite Bra Bloggers' Facebook Pages. Facebook is an easy way to see which Bra Bloggers have something new on their blog, which lingerie they are reviewing and to read other readers' lingerie questions.

Boosaurus
Small bands, big cups, geeky fun and testing out fashion for busty, slender women

Undercover Lingerista
Lingerie and swimwear news from across the world mixed in with some fab photography

Fuller Figure Fuller Bust
The bonkers, beautiful and no-nonsense world of Georgina Horne's Fuller Figure, Fuller Bust

The Lingerie Addict
As the name suggests this Facebook page is perfect for any lingerie lover! Photography of every conceivable kind of lingerie as well as reviews, sales and breaking news

Full Figured Chest
A kaleidoscope of lingerie brands from across the globe with a focus on bigger cups. Photography, reviews and news. A must for all lingerie retailers and brands

Thin and Curvy
Focus on 24-28 backs and bigger cup bras. Fashion tips and style suggestions for full busted, slim women

Miss Underpinnings
Personal journey of finding bigger cup, small band bras.

Braless in Brasil
The heartfelt, intelligent and humorous journey of an American trying to tame her big boobs in Brasil

Elisabeth Dale's The Breast Life
You will find easy to understand information about breast health, fitting and breast-feeding as well as personal stories from women of all sizes and experiences

By Baby's Rules
Small band, big cup trials and tests. A personal and passionate search for the perfect bras

Busts 4 Justice
Her header image is Wonder Woman - what else do you need to know!? (She's also the oracle on all things Bra Justice)

Invest in Your Chest
I love this Facebook page it feels like how your best friend would talk to you about your bras, with humour, sincerity and a push in the right direction

Why these Pages are Important to Me
As a lingerie retailer it's so important for me to listen to the problems that women face when looking for lingerie. From wires and gores to designs and availability women are talking about all their loves and loathes. It's a great way for me to listen, respond and make sure Butterfly Collection offers the best products and services.

We address all of these issues on Butterfly Collection's Facebook page as well as sharing Mr Butterfly's beautiful Bra Proverbs! xx

How Social Media is Good for Busty Women

I love the Star in a Bra competition run by UK brand Curvy Kate (they specialize in big cup bras).  It's a huge feat in social media awareness for busty women. Through their social media campaign I got to chat with the 2011 winner, Lizzie Haines on Twitter and was introduced to a fantastic blog Fuller Figure Fuller Bust written by one of the runner ups Georgina Horne. Both women have continued to support Butterfly Collection in our efforts to celebrate curvaceous women which is fantastic. This is when I love social media, when it creates a genuine, albeit virtual, bond.

I get messages every day via our Facebook Page and on Twitter from women who have had such problems finding large cup bras that they’ve come to believe that their bodies are the problem when in fact they need better fitting information and more options from the lingerie industry. This is when social media comes into its own for me and it's the reason I started Butterfly Collection so that busty women have a place they can feel completely accepted and genuinely understood exactly as they are. It doesn’t hurt that I’m huge fan of boobs and talking so if you want to chat about your boobs, I’m your girl!

When social media is used at its best it brings together people who might otherwise think they are the only one and alone. Social media has helped us let many busty women know they don't have to suffer and they are not alone. xx