Bra Fit For Special Needs Girls

This week is a guest blog from a fantastic special needs teacher who also happens to be my Mum. When we talk about good bra fit for everyone there really are no exceptions. Bra fit for special needs daughters can be daunting for parents so this post hopes to shed some light on the importance and techniques for dealing with bra fit for special needs girls.

"Talking to your adolescent daughter about puberty can be difficult enough but especially so if your daughter has learning difficulties of any kind. I am fortunate to be the Mum of two healthy girls and having worked hard to have good lines of communication we discussed puberty in terms of emotional and practical changes so that they were empowered to have choices over their bodies and understand what was happening to them. Having taught adolescent special needs students for 20 years I am acutely aware that these girls do not have the same capacity for understanding puberty or making choices about the changes to their body. Does this mean you don’t try to explain or address puberty for special needs girls? Absolutely not.

The individuals within the special needs spectrum have a huge array of abilities and capacity for understanding so your communication with your child needs to be geared to them. It’s a mistake to think that being special needs automatically means you can’t talk about things like puberty and bras. Breast development is indiscriminate and as with any other girl your daughter deserves the physical and emotional support through her changing body whether you can explain it to her or seek out the right bra support on her behalf.

All too often parents of special needs girls do not address the needs of a pubescent daughter as though somehow being special needs means things like bras don’t apply. Lots of parents find it hard enough to discuss puberty with their children so adding a layer of mental and/or physical disability into the mix can be crippling for communication. Somehow we need to change this barrier between communication and puberty in special needs girls because many special needs girls develop at an early age and can have very heavy breasts and yet many of them are left without any bra support. In other cases, although a girl may be wearing a bra, it is obviously not a proper fit and regardless of your abilities being uncomfortable is horrible.

Being a special needs girl does not necessarily mean you are excluded from feeling embarrassed or self conscious. The kind of teenage behaviour you see in mainstream schools happens in special needs schools too. Kids notice and comment on each other’s bodies and the interest in sexual body parts is just as prevalent, if not more so. Being in the right bra gives a special needs girl some control back over her breasts, allows her to participate in physical activities more comfortably and adds a layer of privacy while her body is growing and changing.

I wish there was a checklist for how to help your special needs daughter with bra fit but it does depend hugely on her abilities and comprehension. Having said that here are some suggestions about bra fit and special needs that could help you give your daughter good breast support:

1) If you can talk to her about puberty then do! Talk about how the changes mean she is becoming a woman and as a woman she can start to choose the bras she would like to have to support her. Include her in the transition to bras and ask her what she thinks about wearing a bra. Explain to her that she can continue to do her favourite things without being uncomfortable, like playing basketball, or dancing or playing with her friends.

2) Be realistic about what kind of bras your daughter can physically get into and wear. If your daughter has any upper body physical disability then a wire is probably not the best option as it can sit awkwardly against her ribs. Opt for wire free bras. There are lots of wire free bras available up to a K cup in sports and regular designs. Sports bras are particularly useful as lots of special needs children and teens are very physically active.

A front closure bra may be more practical

3) Consider who is going to get your daughter in and out of her bra and how difficult that will be. If she goes to a swimming class as part of her schooling then will an assistant be available to help her with her bra? Perhaps a front closure bra would be more practical for a girl who has enough dexterity to put on a front closure but not a back closure.

4) If a conventional bra is not practical then look at quality crop tops that add a layer of compression and support to the breasts.

5) If it’s possible to get colours and patterns in bras that are suitable for your daughter then ask her which colours and designs she likes. Being given power over her choices empowers any girl and will make her relationship with her bras more positive.

6) ASK FOR HELP. Bras are still a mystery for millions of able bodied, mentally capable women so figuring out which bras are right for you daughter’s particular special needs can be overwhelming. I know that Claire works with parents of special needs daughters via Skype to help them learn about fit and style options within the comfort of their own homes. Familiar surroundings are very important for special needs children so your home is the best place to teach about bras and to try them on your daughter. 

Life may be very different for special needs girls in many ways but Mother Nature makes no allowance. They get boobs, periods and curves and they deserve to have these changes respected and acknowledged. It can be incredibly difficult for the parents of special needs daughters to recognize and acknowledge these changes but failing to do so can leave a special needs girl feeling exposed and confused and that’s not good for any human being."

How Many Bras Should You Own?

This is a question I get asked a lot and you may be surprised to know that there is a little science to the answer. We wear our bras anywhere between 8 and 18 hours every day and in that time the elastic in our bra heats up to our body temperature; especially around the band where it is in greatest contact with our skin. Heat causes elastic to expand and stretch farther. When you take off your bra the elastic begins to cool down and the fibers in the elastic start to contract back into a shorter state. It takes about 36 hours for elastic to cool down completely so ideally you want to give your bras 2 days rest between wears.

Considering how crucial your bra's elastic is to your fit and longevity it's worth looking after by washing and drying your bras correctly and by allowing them rest between wears. Here's a general breakdown of how many bras you need to maximize their longevity:

From Left to Right: Profile Perfect, Lucy Black and Leopard Dessous

Everyday Bras
There is no hard-and-fast rule about what an everyday bra is. It's any bra that keeps you supported during your daily activities and that works with your wardrobe. For lots of women their everyday bra collection is one light coloured bra, one dark coloured bra and a bra with a lower neckline that can be worn with lower necklines. Three is the minimum number of bras you should have for everyday wear to give your bras the best chance at lasting as long as they can. If you have more and rotate them on a 4 or 5 day basis then they'll last proportionally longer. If you wear the same bra every day then it will probably only last about 4 months, if that.

Sports Bras
The number of sports bras you need depends on how often you exercise, what you do and for how long. If you work out three times a week doing more or less the same level of activity for about an hour then you only need one sports bra. If you do a high-impact sport one day and a low level yoga class another day you may need two different bras; one designed for impact and one designed for flexibility. If you work out every day and sweat a great deal or exercise for more than an hour then you're going to need two or even three sports bras. Be sure to wash your sports bras every week as the salt from your sweat can break down elastic quickly.

From Left to Right: Evie Strapless, Tango Cherry Plunge, Enell Classic Black

Solution Bras
If your wardrobe requires you to have a strapless bra then you can probably just invest in one unless you need a specific colour. In the summer you may find that you want a couple of strapless bras that you can add to your everyday rotation. Plunge bras or wide balconette styles (think heaving bossom!) may not be something you wear every week but are useful to have for a favourite dress or event. These bras aren't essential but can add more freedom to your wardrobe choices.

Colourful Bras
I don't think that colourful bras should be an option, they should be a standard in your bra drawer. If you love colour then your everyday bras may all be colourful ones. However, if you have a basic everyday bra wardrobe then I highly recommend treating yourself to a colourful bra that you wear at weekends because it can lift your spirits to wear something that is fun and different. It can help you see you and your breasts differently.

I hope this helps you work out whether your bra wardrobe and habits are helping you get the most out of your bra budget. xx

How Life Can Change Your Bra Size

Lots of women don’t regularly check their bra size because they don't feel that their boobs have changed. One woman told me that she’s been a 38E since she was 16; at 39, two children and a divorce later she was surprised when I told her she was now a 36G. If you’re honest, how often do you check your bra size? 

You may feel that your body hasn’t changed much but you’d be surprised at the number of things in life that can affect your bra size. Your body can change shape without you even realizing it and this is often the result of changes in your life. We’re aware of the changes that occur with dieting or having a baby but there are other things that can affect your size:

1) Emotional Strain and Grief

No one’s life is without sadness at some point and this deep emotional state can have very real physical effects on your body. I have spoken to women after coming through a mourning period, or significant emotional change like divorce, who find that their bodies have changed. 

It’s unrealistic to think that you can be vigilant about your bra size when you’re processing emotional trauma, however, when you begin to emerge from the sadness, it’s important to give your body the support it needs. Weight loss or weight gain through this time may include some muscle change so your boobs can be very different. It will make it easier to resume regular life if your body is supported and comfortable. It’s worth speaking to a bra expert about appropriate styles if your body shape has changed.

The Enell Lite is perfect for recovery

2) Surgery and Illness

You don’t need to have experienced a breast related illness or surgical procedure for it to have an effect on your boobs. Medications and surgery can have a very direct effect on your bra size; some medications cause water retention which can result in a bigger bust size. 

The most important thing to remember during these times is that your body needs support to recuperate. It may be the case that going without a bra for a while is a good idea and when you’re back on your feet you may want a softer bra like the Enell Lite pictured above while your body is still tender. There are post surgical bras available for you to wear after breast surgery. These can be worn day and night and give you gentle support while you heal. 

  

3) Menopause

As you stop producing as much oestrogen, progesterone and prolactin the glandular tissue in your boobs stops swelling and reducing through each menstrual cycle. 

Most women find that their boobs become less dense during menopause and this reduces their overall bust size. However, for about 20% of women the menopause results in an increased bust size as the fatty tissue inside your breasts increases. Either way, you’ll want to keep an eye on your measurements (our bra size calculator is an easy way to follow your size changes) and buy bras accordingly. The menopause can also make your boobs very tender or even sore. If this happens it can help to wear seam-free bras that reduce irritation but keep you supported.

Your body needs different support depending on the time and events in your life. Finding the right style and size of bra will help you to feel more comfortable physically and emotionally. If you have any questions about the kind of bra you need during different stages of your life you can email our support team at support@butterflycollection.ca  xx

Fitness and Boobs: Buoyant Boobs!

I was a member of my very first gym for about 18 months and it cost me approximately $300 per visit for the THREE times I went during that time. One of the biggest barriers was that I didn't have a good enough sports bra at the time. These days there are amazing sports bra for women with larger breasts (Enell and the Panache Sports bra) that make a huge difference to gym workouts. Since then I have joined various fitness groups and tried at home fitness videos but I never really got into a fitness groove until a new YMCA opened in Vancouver last year.

The Robert Lee YMCA is in the heart of my neighbourhood and before it opened their advertising made it clear that not only were they opening an incredible health facility they were also offering services to bring the community together. So me and Mr Butterfly signed up and after my first session I was sold. The building is designed to be full of light, which can be in short supply in Vancouver so every little helps. There are programs for every age and capability from the uber-buff to members rehabilitating mobility. Somehow this eclectic mix of families, die-hard gym dudes and older members not only works but makes you feel like you’re part of something bigger – a community.

It turns out that this kind of environment totally works for me, there’s no pressure, no parading your six-pack in front of the mirrors; it’s actually pleasant to be there. All I had to figure out now was what I was going to do because no matter how nice it is at the YMCA I still hate working out in the gym. I don’t hate the treadmill because of the boob-factor; I eliminated the big-boob-bounce a few years ago when I had to tame the girls so I could play basketball; it’s the monotony of the gym that zaps my enthusiasm. So I started hunting around the programs at the Robert Lee YMCA and went to my first Aquafit session. I started with a few shallow aquafit sessions then migrated to the deep-aquafit group and I knew I had found my big-boob-workout-heaven!

This is what has inspired me to create a series of videos about Boobs and Fitness because I know a lot of you still feel uncomfortable working out when you have a big chest. We’re starting with an interview with my Aquafit instructor, Nik Slomba, about why aquafit is a busty girl’s dream!

It’s fair to say that I am a HUGE fan of aquafit (not least because I get to work out to 80s dance tunes!) Since I started doing two 50 minute sessions a week I have noticed a huge change in my lung capacity and flexibility. Aquafit is the first exercise I’ve found that really gets my blood pumping but doesn’t cause me any boob stress; and that has changed my life!

If you have found an exercise, group or activity that totally fits your life and curves I would love to hear about it. I’m a fan of anything that keeps your curves looking toned and fabulous! xx

How to look after the ligaments in your breasts

Lots of busty women know that wearing a bra is less painful than not wearing one. If you've ever run downstairs with the girls flapping around you'll know the twinge behind each breast as they move about. Here is some information about what happens to our boobs when we move about and how you can protect the delicate ligaments.

Breasts don't have any muscle in them, they are held in place by two things, ligaments and skin. The ligaments (technical name Coopers Ligaments) stretch and contract to accommodate your movements. Your skin also stretches to allow for the force and impact of your movements. Unlike muscles, there is little you can do to alter your ligaments and skin elasticity. The changes our breasts experience is mostly dictated by genes.

So what can we do to protect our ligaments and skin? The answer is a balance of bras and NO bras. Surprising? I'll explain.

When you move about your breast tissue and skin moves too (the affect is tenfold when you're working out which is why you must wear a sports bra). A well-fitting bra protects your ligaments and skin from getting over-stretched. If you stretch them too far, they can't bounce back as effectively and this causes sagging. If you have large breasts and bend over without a bra the impact is proportionally greater than a woman with smaller boobs - the greater the mass, the greater the gravitational pull. So when you have a bigger bust you need to reduce the stretch factor more than your smaller breasted friends.

So how does not wearing a bra help? It's a case of use it or lose it. Your ligaments and skin need to be allowed to stretch and contract so that they remain active. If your ligaments aren't allowed to stretch and contract they can lose their ability to do so by becoming dormant. So it's a good idea to give your boobs some free-range time. There are lots of other reasons to go au natural (allowing your skin to breathe, reducing the risk of trapped sweat and relieving pressure around the wires) but exercising your ligaments is certainly a motivation to whip your bra off for part of every day.

All boobs, big and small, will sag over time, but you can prolong the perkiness of your girls by understanding them and dressing them properly for every occasion. If you have any questions about specific activities and the relevant bra, we're always happy to help. xx