Monday, November 19, 2012
Big Boob Phobia!
I am afraid of clowns. I think they have machetes in their trouser-legs and they kill people who go to the circus. The logical side of my brain says there's probably a very small percentage of weapon-wielding, murderous funny-men but nonetheless I feel like crying when I see one. Perhaps the reason so many women have hang-ups about wearing a bra over a D cup is that they are actually suffering from Pectorusgiganticus; Fear of Big Boobs! (a word I just made up, naturally.)
Joking aside, it never ceases to amaze me how many women are afraid of bra letters over a D cup. It makes no difference what label you put on the ratio between your breast mass and your ribcage measurement (sexy right, that's what your bra size refers to) your boobs are still going to be that volume. Letter Phobia doesn't stop your boobs are spilling out of your bra or bouncing around so it's worthwhile getting educated about bra fit and what bra sizes actually mean.
Over several decades we have built up layers of phobias around boobs; women with big boobs are bimbos or promiscuous and they can't play sports or be pain-free. These phobias stem partly from a misogynistic language that keeps women feeling guilty about their bodies (but that's a topic for a whole other dissertation!) and partly from years of dreadful bra fitting knowledge. By fitting knowledge I don't just mean getting a good fitting at a boutique, I mean, being educated about bras.
As we grow up we're educated about periods, why we have them and what to do to manage them as they happen. Imagine never being told why you have periods or how a tampon should feel and work if used correctly. You'd spend your life blindly buying what you thought was best for you and wondering the whole time if there was something wrong with you. This is what we do to young girls about bras. We don't explain that bras should fit snugly at the band, how your cup size is relative to your band size and that breast sizes change regularly (every couple of weeks for some women). If we gave them this knowledge then the phobias around bras would begin to fade away.
It's such an old-fashioned idea that only a professional fitter can tell you about your boobs and bras. Your doctor gives you advice about how to live well (good diet, exercise etc) they don't just prescribe you antacid every time you have heartburn without ever explaining that cutting out fatty foods will stop the problem in the first place. Similarly a good bra-fitter should teach you about your fit, your breast shape, which styles work for you and how to keep an eye on your size. This way you'll understand your breasts and bras and there will be no room for phobia.
I think a lot of women worry that wearing a cup size over a D cup will make them look like they have big boobs. The reality is that a correctly fitting bra will make you look much more contained which makes your boobs look smaller than when they're bashing together somewhere near your waist!
If you think you might be suffering from Pectorusgiganticus then I want you to remember 3 things to try and overcome your phobia:
1) No one else needs to know your bra size so what difference does it make?
2) In the right size bra you won't bounce around or spill out of your cups (the two things that draw the kind of attention that can make you feel uncomfortable)
3) You can take your time but try to keep a piece of your mind open to the possibility that a different bra size could make you feel physically and emotionally better.
To every one of our customers and every reader of this blog I want you to know that you are changing the landscape for future generations of women. By educating yourselves about great bra fit you can pass on that gift and ensure that no-one has to suffer the terrible fear of Big Boobs!! xx
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It makes me sad whenever I encounter people who really, really have 'big boob phobia' - I have a friend, who is always spilling out of her EU E-cups, and have a band so large, it is literally closer to her neck. I've suggested she go for a smaller band, but since she knows of sister-sizing, she refuses because "I am just not the kind of girl who wears and F-cup" and "With an E-cup, I can still pretend to call it DD instead" :(
ReplyDeleteAnd I whole-heartily agree that bra-education ought to be considered more basic, rather than a special interest, to overcome these mis-informed ideas of D+
I love how you tackle this subject with such sensitivity and humor; I'm more likely to blurt "oh get over it! There are tons of bra sizes! Let's use them all!" But you're so right: there are layers and layers of loaded language, cultural assumptions, and stigmas floating around out there, and if we don't educate ourselves and others, we'll just perpetuate the shame.
ReplyDeleteIt is true I have known a few women that didn't want to be breasty. But the majority of busty women that I have known or even talked to not only like being busty- they flaunt it.
ReplyDeleteThose that have not liked it are few, in my experience with knowing or women I have met.
It could be my location. I've noticed that women in certain places of the country think certain ways. Geographical location could be a big part of certain kinds of thinking.
Never have I had some one comment that my boobs are too big (other than a moronic male ER doctor - long story). My sisters and most of my girl friends are so envious. They say "Gimme some of that!" or "Can I snuggle in there?". Now that I know I wear an F cup and not a D, I feel more confident, my boobs are properly strapped in/held up and I don't spend my days figiting with my bra. Women need to stop feeling like there is something wrong with being bigger than a C cup. Do you realize how many women wish they had such nice sweater puppies? A ton! Mine are in my top 3 of favorite body parts. Thank you for your blogs of self loving and educational materials! Happy Turkey Day tomorrow!
ReplyDeletePart of the problem may be the thought of shopping for D+ bras. In my local mall, I see a lot of Victoria's Secret customers that should really be wearing larger size bras. (Nothing against VS, but they really should expand their size range and place more emphasis on fit.) I know this site specializes in D-K cups, but Victoria's Secret means lingerie (of all varieties) to many women may fear they are forever stuck having to shop for ugly, expensive bras.
ReplyDeleteWe are so lucky to be living in today's world where there is so much more choice of clothes for big boobs. Our mothers' generation had it seriously tough. The great invention of the latter part of the 20th Centurt was the internet and for big boobed ladies it meant niche retailers could suddenly be found which opened up a world of opportunities.
ReplyDeleteThe other advantage was the introduction of the world of blogging so one could see you were not alone. Many other busty women shared your likes, dislikes, fears and interests.