Taking Time to Overcome Letter Phobia

I can measure almost anyone for a bra and tell them technically what bra sizes and styles they should wear to get a text book healthy fit. The reality is that the technical aspect of fitting means nothing if someone is not mentally ready for a new bra size, especially if the thought of a cup letter over a D makes them recoil.

I've written before about Letter Phobia (here and here) and how it's a very real block that keeps women from even trying on a bra in a size that distresses/worries/upsets them.

I have some clients who spent years in bras that made them uncomfortable, unhappy and self conscious but then finally took the courageous step of facing their letter phobia. I say courageous because letter phobia is the result of layers of dialogue that tell us boobs are wrong, big boobs only translate to sex, cup sizes over a D are for exhibitionists, big boobs and intelligence don't co-exist etc. It's brave to take a step out of that quagmire of ignorance that gets heaped on women from commercials, movies, ads, TV, blog comment sections (AKA the Devil's diary, whichever you prefer) and trust that you could find empowerment on the other side.

A recently new client told me this week that she was disgusted the first time she saw our website because we were trying to normalize big boobs and that went against everything she had learned at home, through her social groups and through the media. Over a period of three years she had read my blog posts and started to wonder whether she was being kept in a cycle of shame about her body and breasts without really knowing it. In September she purchased her first bra in a cup letter that would have been unthinkable to her just a year earlier. This week she wanted to let me know that the difference in her health, posture and self-worth has transformed in just 2 short months. So much so that she has made a verbal promise to her daughter that she will always give her physical and emotional access to bras that fit her.

When you work so much by yourself it's hard to know sometimes if you're making a difference so this woman's story meant an awful lot to me. I would love to think that fewer women of future generations will have to wade through the emotional mud before they feel empowered and deserving enough of a well-fitting bra. It's not just about getting the best bra fit, it's about freeing up the mental capacity of a remarkable gender to apply their time to something other than ensuring their bodies conform to an arbitrary social preference.

Getting over letter phobia does not happen over night but it can happen and the results can be so much more than just getting the right bra. Be kind to those women you know who are afraid to try a cup letter over a D and be there with helpful resources when they're ready to face their letter phobia.xx

Bras Missing from the Full Bust Market

Almost every week I have to tell someone that the bra they need simply doesn't exist. It's awful to have to tell someone that but the reality is that the full bust market does not yet have a full compliment of styles compared to the A-D mainstream sizes. Here are some of the bras that are missing from the full bust market.

Plunge Bras Over an H Cup
The versatility of a plunge bra is something a lot of H+ cup women would like but that's not the key reason I'd love to see an H+ cup plunge bra. Lots of my clients have a protruding or concave breastbone that makes medium to tall gores difficult to wear. H+ cup bras tend to have quite tall gores and this makes sense because you're trying to support a 10 inch circumference difference between the ribcage and the fullest part of the bust so you want good scaffolding! However, if that gore creates too much pressure on a protruding sternum or can't take to a concave one then the fit is lost.

There is the germination of H+ plunge bras appearing in Freya's Deco Vibe GG cups and Panache's new fashion style Fontaine. However, there is enormous scope for more styles that offer support with strong seaming and fabrics while offering the flexibility of a lower gore.

A Variety of Wire Lengths
Full bust manufacturers tend to get stuck in a wire length rut. It makes sense from a manufacturing point of view because it's expensive to change production settings for the wire length, however, brands are missing out on a ready and willing audience. Panache is a prime example of a brand that could quickly rack up more clients if it offered a variety of wire lengths. So many of our clients love the designs, Cleo in particular, but the wires are just too long for their breast height or torso length. They're ready and willing to part with their dollars but can't because Panache doesn't offer enough wire lengths.

One of the most overlooked sectors of our clientele is the short busty woman. She's generally under 5ft 3" with a 32H+ bust and most of the bras available in her size come with incredibly long wires. Just knocking off an inch or so from those wire lengths or offering a short wires version would result in a swathe of new customers.

Strapless Bras Over an H Cup
Again it would be nice to have more strapless options over an H cup but currently there is only Curvy Kate's Luxe bra widely available and if Curvy Kate's wire width doesn't work for you then you don't really have anywhere else to look.

More Gore Width Options
Large breasts come in many shapes and sizes and sit in a variety of different positions on the body. If your breasts sit far apart then you need a bra with a wide gore. If they sit close together then you need a narrow gore. Currently the narrowest gore options also live on bras with long wires so if you have a narrow bust and high breast root it's tricky to find a fit. More gore width options within a brand would cast their customer net that little bit wider.

If you have a full bust bra that you simply cannot find or a fit feature that seems to be completely missing then please share it in the comments. xx

Bra Fact and Bra Fiction Quiz

In five years of talking about bras I've had to debunk my fair share of bra myths. There is a lot of great bra information out there but there is also a lot of bra nonsense that is keeping hundreds of thousands of women from their best fit. How many of these bra 'facts' are actually rubbish and which are the real deal? (I'll post the answers in the comments in a couple of days!) xx

1) Your bra band should be parallel with the ground

2) It's normal to get some back fat with a well-fitting bra

3) After you measure round your ribcage you should add 4 inches to find your band size

4) Not all bras in your size will fit you

5) Straps falling off your shoulders is a normal part of wearing bras

6) You should be able to lift the band away from your body so you can see the bottom of your breasts

7) The direction of the seams on a cup changes the shape of the look of your bust

8) The gore should lie flat against your body between your boobs

9) If your bra leaves red marks on your body it's the wrong size

10) Wearing a bra at night stops your boobs sagging

There are many, many more but if you can sort the fact from the fiction in this list then you've got a great handle on your bra fit! xx

A Day in The Life of a Badly Fitting Bra

You'd be forgiven for thinking that your bra is out to get you as it pinches and pokes you and leaves your breasts in free fall. But in reality the reason your bra hurts you is that it's desperately trying to fit and it just can't. To give you an idea of what happens when you put on an ill-fitting bra here's a short day in the life of that bra...

Beginning of the Day...
Bra: "OK everyone, it's a new day and today we're going to keep her boobs in one place. Is everyone with me? Straps, Band, Cups, are we ready?"

All: "Yes(ish)!"

Bra: "Band, can I get an elastic report?"

Band: "Elastic cooled to room temperature but stretch damage at 90%. I'm reporting majority of elastic fibers broken or maxed out, Commander."

Bra: "Let's put that 10% of working elastic to the test then Band. Engage band support. Straps, status report."

Straps: "We are reading a 75% degrading of our surface resistance. Likelihood of sliders loosing grip at 80%, Commander."

Bra: "I don't want any slacking on this watch so keep those straps in place soldier. Cups, what's the situation with you?"

Cups: "We appear to have sustained some damage during the last aquatic drill, Commander. We are reporting some increased volume and weakening of the surface tension."

Bra: "I need you to hold it together cups, stand fast. OK, this is it. All stations engage support."

Not Long Later That Same Day...
Bra: "All stations we are loosing support integrity; immediate emergency reports."

Band: "Elastic has heated up to body temperature and we're loosing tension at a rapid rate. We are reporting a 15 degrees increase in altitude up the spine."

Straps: "We also detect the increase in altitude, Commander, and can no longer maintain strap stability. We have lost functionality in the right strap. Strap down, I repeat, strap down."

Cups: "We are loosing altitude, Commander. We are reporting major tissue spillage in left cup and wire malfunction at the gore. We appear to have increased tissue pressure at the sternum. Please advise next steps."

Bra: "All stations, we appear to be having a catastrophic function failure. Advise one of us learns how to write a note for her to get a bra fitting and put us out of our misery."

So the next time you find yourself cursing your bra spare a thought for how hard it's trying to contain your breasts against all odds. If you don't know where to start figuring out what size and style features you need in a bra then our Free Size Consultation is a great place to start. xx

Transitioning Back from Nursing to Regular Bras

In the early weeks and months of breastfeeding your nursing bra clips are up and down like a jack-in-a-box. As the baby starts to eat solids the prospect of getting back into regular bras becomes a possibility. Evelynne is now 14 months old and eating solids like a boxer in training. She still finds time to fit in a few breastfeeds in the day but not enough to warrant being in a nursing bra all day. Now that I don't need to be so available to her I have started transitioning back into regular bras and discovered that's harder than I thought.

Body Shock Post Nursing
When Evelynne was about 8 months I really missed regular bras. I had great nursing bras but the shape they all give you is pretty similar and you don't get the same lift as you do with a wired bra. When I realized I could start wearing wired bras again I was really excited to get back into my Panache Jasmine and Cleo Lucy bras because they're my favourite shapes. Unfortunately this wasn't to be.

My size had barely changed from my pre-pregnancy size. I was a 32GG before Evelynne and I was now a 34GG, so up just one band size and one cup volume. I tried a 34GG in Lucy and it was too much of a shock to my system to have such a long wire and rigid support again after 12 months of wire-free, relaxed support.  This body shock happens a lot for women who have spent their whole lives in the wrong bra. They know they are uncomfortable and their straps hurt in the wrong bra but once they put on a band that is actually supportive it's too different from the loose fit they're used to and it can put off a lot of people from persevering with a better fit. I knew that the shock meant I needed to take smaller steps back into wired bras.

Related Article: What to expect when you start wearing the right size bra

Baby Steps Back into Wired Bras
I had to start experimenting with new styles to help me find my way back to wired bras. I have never been a big fan of smooth cup bras because I don't like the shape they give me as much as a seamed cup shape, but I discovered that soft smooth cups (so no rigid molded cups) were very comfortable, especially as I am still nursing so still a little sensitive.  I also found that even though I can wear pretty long wires I was more comfortable in a shorter wire. A shorter wire meant less pressure around my torso (and less support in my case) but it proved to be a good middle ground between no wire and long wires.

Short wired, smooth cups are bras that I've never regularly worn but they have given me back more lift, a different shape from nursing bras and the body confidence to start wearing a firmer band again.

Here are the bras that are rehabilitating me back into wired bras!

Verailles by Lunaire

Short wires, scooped straps and smooth cups made Versailles a great post nursing bra.

This bra is pretty firm in the band so I tried a 36G (the equivalent cup volume of a 34GG) and was very pleasantly surprised at the comfort and support. I particularly like that the straps scoop in on the shoulders so this bra is invisible under a tank top. Shop Here

Basic Beauty by Wacoal

Smooth cups, lots of support and scooped straps were my favourite post-nursing features on Basic Beauty

The cups are made of a double lined material which adds support without irritation your nipples. The cups come up pretty high but this gives a fantastic support. Again the straps scoop in on the shoulders on this one so it's been useful in the summer with strapless tops. Shop Here

Etta by Elomi

I love the short gore on Etta and the seams hit me in the right place post-nursing

I needed something with a shorter gore than Versailles and Basic Beauty so I tried Etta and it was ideal. The wires are probably a little short on me (I have a tall bust) but the shape and comfort made up for that. The placement of the seams didn't irritate me and it's so nice to be back in a seamed, wired bra. Shop Here

I plan to get back into Jasmine and Lucy eventually and my transition bras are helping me get there. Having and nursing a baby is such a huge change for your body that I guess it's no surprise that your body needs time to transition back into pre-baby bras. xx