It was Father's Day yesterday and millions of us were fortunate to have a father figure who we could celebrate. My own Dad is a phenomenal human being. Being the only male in our house he dealt very well with the constant round of bras on the radiators, PMS rotation and ever shortening hemlines! I'm very lucky that he never made me feel there were limits or expectations to my life because I was female. Instead he supported my dreams to travel and most especially to start a business that I truly believed in. He's a huge influence on why I started and how I run Butterfly Collection and now he's probably one of the most bra savvy 65 year olds on the planet!
I have this incredible male influence in my life and yet I have to admit that I sometimes feel rather hopeless in my goal of giving busty women the confidence to defy breast stereotypes and sexism. There is such a frightening swathe of men (and sadly other women) who show no respect or humanity for women and I often wonder if we can make a difference and end the cycles of body-shaming and gender stereotyping. And then I remember a phone conversation I had with a father of a busty teen and I know that there is a vast amount of good and change out there.
The conversation was with a father whose 14 year old daughter was developing quickly. He explained to me that his wife had died of ovarian cancer six years previously and he needed help to help his daughter begin her bra journey. He told me that he had two sisters who both had complex body issues that stemmed from their father and he didn't want that for his daughter. He had researched bras and body confidence in teens which led him to this blog and our store. His primary concern was that his daughter had a resource she felt comfortable with to find bras and understand her fit. A Dad wanting bra fit education for his daughter. That's a good man. We came up with a series of options for his daughter and she chose which one she wanted to pursue. Two years later she emails me every time her size or shape changes and understands what good bra fit looks and feels like on her body. That's a gift her father gave her that will stay with her forever.
I don't know if we'll ever eradicate stereotypes and sexism around breasts but I know there are kind fathers out there who are ending the cycle of body shame in their family and that is immeasurable change for good. xx
Oh man, that's the LOVELIEST story. Totally makes me cry.
ReplyDeleteI have to remind myself of that encounter quite often K.Line. I can get a bit bogged down in the narrow mindedness I encounter around breasts and forget that every person who finds knowledge or comfort from our bra information is a huge achievement and we have to keep going xx
DeleteDitto what k.line said! Brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading xx
DeleteWhat a fabulous story! I keep thinknig I'm going to write a bra post (in my knitting blog) and share it on FB... prefacing it with "if you're a guy, don't go away, send this info to a woman you love".
ReplyDeleteNo kidding Lisa. There's such a rewarding experience to be had for both parties between men and the women they care about in their life. Bras can be empowering for women and men can be part of that conversation and support xx
DeleteYou are wearing a very well fitting bra in that picture! :)
ReplyDeleteHaha! I'm wearing Melody in a 30H in that picture - it's a trusty friend :) xx http://www.butterflycollection.ca/melody-full-cup-beige/
DeleteOh Claire, that's just a lovely story! Don't feel hopeless. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's always a good reminder for me that you have to plough on through the stereotypes xx
DeleteClaire: Indeed very beautiful. Very heartwarming. There is a lot of hope in the world. Some of us were able to develop confidence as we matured. I love my busts and I love beautiful colourful bras!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful to read! I definitely don't lose hope, but it gets tested, a lot! It's lovely to read your joy and confidence, this is something I wish for all women, busty or not xx
DeleteVery good story! As a guy with a big chested girlfriend, I have come to understand the importance of a good fit, and the stupidity of the mainstream fashion industry's ignorance of bras bigger than a DD cup.
ReplyDeleteThat's it in a nutshell Nate! There is so much ignorance about larger cup sizes and this only serves to keep women feeling guilty about their bodies. The physical and emotional importance of good bra fit for all women should be our priority so we keep busting those boob myths!! xx
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